She says, she crosses mountains and valleys to reach there; All she ever wants is to play. I ask her, if she could listen to some stories This little girl says No and starts sobbing; I don't compel, I'm supposed to be a listener, then I console... She told me, she's tired of stories and; I could be her favorite Playmate; we smile. I no longer ask her no questions; Neither do I read eyes, I panic, What if I find pain? no love and no trust? But as she smiles even the clouds descend; Just to watch this sanguine child. She must be an Angel, now I reckon.
I don't even know if I had wished for anything better than this in my life or if, Life itself had turned out to be anything different than this, I don't know how better I could have enjoyed it... A person who is crazy to the utmost to even plan a successful life, as they all(others) wish, could find happiness in the darkest places. That is how people like me survive, if you are not aware of it. So I would want you normal human beings to just shun their ways and ignore them because there lies your eternal happiness in ignorance of the MISFITS, now don't even dare to imagine that these rants go anywhere desirable for you to finally understand what this is all about, because I always end up having the worst plans for those who imagine so.
Those people who are absolutely clumsy at deciding priorities in Life, sadly can't be the ones to invest your expectations on. They are spontaneous by nature and it is so apparent that they tend to slip away from rational laws yet don’t pamper any criminal instincts because it is a fact that such instincts don’t favor any reliable solutions.
The problem is why to take a road when you can simply assume the cheap thrills waiting on your way, I find no fun in knowing the obvious, the one truth I refuse to fight anytime. Liberation could be that guardian angel you kiss good night to, every single day, if you dare to be a less rational and more of a routine sucker, my two cents (you are free to ignore). The worst part of being a jerk is that people can't really piss you off, contrary to their common belief that they can, and the best part is this world could be as vast as blue sky and as small as a coffin, in between you could be a schizophrenic or as mundane as everyone else, interestingly you know it.
When that someone asks you to get
lost I would say don’t hesitate; sometimes it is necessary to take it a bit too
seriously and then find out a place that will make you feel lot more a stranger
than you usually are. I am genuinely blabbering I know, because it’s tough this
time; I think I want to talk about being in love. It sounds stupid, but it was just
perfect exactly the way I have imagined. That compelling urge to fall
wholeheartedly I felt, was fierce. I don’t even know what this ‘love at first
sight’ crap is all about, Just as the way I can’t hate a person in first sight
it is one of those myths for me. But for us silly humans, we can’t really
predict what life has in store for us.
As long as I can remember I had a
thing for forests and it goes back to school days. My brain must have had developed
a great deal of fantasies about being in luscious Rain Forests back in there. I
still recall how my heart used to pound thinking about Amazon which would
eventually find a refuge at my nearest possible destination which is Silent Valley.
It’s not my Science or geography teacher who did that voodoo on me it’s the
lush green, the mighty trees and the exotic fauna there. I‘ve personally felt
that all such pure cravings of a Human soul are more sacred than any man made
shrines or relationships.
That was not a planned tour; we
had a different purpose in Attappady – to visit SARANG. We had to travel from Trichur to
Palakkad and from there to Mannarkkad all in public transportation. From Mannarkkad
we took a bus to Aanakkatti that’s how we reached Agali. I had no clue that I
would be staying any closer to Silent Valley and AHADS
- where we had our stay arranged surely has a beautiful campus. But everything
seemed frivolous to what I felt in those woods. It was intense, deep and I kept
on falling for every candid hue of Green. Every hill there seemed to have a
mighty heart for me; rocks stood like the most powerful Guardians had me
euphoric. I haven’t seen such huge rocks before, standing tall for meters and
meters amidst a Rain forest; these Western Ghats is a symbol of Nature’s
strength.
It was just two of us and we had
none around to guide us, so… basically it was us and a lot of strangers. We
only saw a small part of Silent Valley but something happened when I saw those mighty
trees, they were tall and even their roots are longer because I could see them
at every curve we passed. Although we don’t hear, I know these trees can talk; if
they think that you love them they talk a bit louder, and the wind carry their
conversations afar. I even started to think of my death while climbing the pass
(funny but its true); I thought if I die there, I would want my parents to know
that I had the most beautiful death I can dream of in this lifetime. But… I
think it’s not my time yet.
Every path we take would lead us
to some fresh water streams or river and that’s it, we can't ignore the
water, breeze, rocks and also there are huge Wind mills; I have not seen such
a thing ever before. In such a climate my physical conditions normally won’t
allow me to take things for granted. I have a chronic sinusitis that instantly
kills all of my strongest desires to romance with a chill weather, but
surprisingly I was perfectly alright. First time ever in my life I experienced
‘greed’, greed to fill my lungs and every pore in my body with fresh air.
Away from noise, pollution and my
home I found a home to fall in love, to feel whole alive. It’s impossible for
me to make you feel what I have felt there, it’s even harder to explain in
words and I am sure these feelings are indigenous to Humans but we are taught
to limit ourselves. This Society has already framed everything for us; love is
that what you feel for money and those silly pleasures but then what about
greater sense of Love, Love this society made you believe does not exist. When
man eye for economic development there starts exploitation, that’s what it
happened there too. Many of the rivers disappeared and AHADS team had been
trying to reinforce the ecosystem and I think they are pretty much successful
in doing so. When I got back I had myself in a closed room in tears for no
reason, I already started missing everything about that place and this I know -
I want to go back and be there for some time because True Love is something
Pure, Irresistible and Deep like a Rain Forest!
(My Bad I didn’t carry a camera,
I only had my mobile cam and much thanks to Rahman sir, Amit Trivedi and Avial band for such beautiful songs.Usually when I
travel my playlist simply have all
Alternate Rock stuff but this time I had gone all Desi. Amit Trivedi’s Pareshaan, Rahman sir’s Rockstar especially
Tum Ho and 22FK songs from Avial and Rex topped my list )
Water – it has always been something beyond a plain liquid to quench my thirst, in fact it is one of those GREAT feelings to me. I would love to indulge in water as much as I long for the sight of roses in garden. It is much of an intriguing but a true feeling. It has not been very long since I realized my insatiable love for this element. Perhaps there is an unrequited way of loving the very causes of our life. I don’t go by the might of it or any physical characteristics when it comes to my affinity towards water because I would have preferred the mountains (earth) in any such case.
Food delivers such a gratifying feeling for many I know, but that does not work right for me, for some reason unknown. I don’t know if it has something to do with my body temperature because it seems to be pretty high most of the time, well I don’t believe it is the only reason. Of course water is not a dubious idea at all for me to frown at, unlike air I can see it. In fact it is conspicuous by all means; in that case it is certainly not my curiosity at play.
Seeds of this love might have sown during my School/hostel days. We had to literally walk for kilometers to fetch some water when we were merely 12 or 13, but that has definitely taught us the value of it. Tell you the truth, those days a bucket full of water for a day was considered a big fortune. Over the years these memories have bestowed much an intensified feeling for Water that now, the very first touch of it can take me away from this abyss called life.
Thusharagiri Water falls
Rivers, lakes, waterfalls, and oceans the bliss is endless, even the monsoon clouds speak a language of water. If you listen carefully you will hear stories of life that were passed on to them through roots to the trees destined at the Sky. Have you ever noticed the joy of a swan dancing on water? I have always admired that pure bliss. So whenever I dance I want to feel like walking on water, gracefully surrendering to a Water God. Also, I think my Soulmate (if exists) would be someone more like water you know Deep (and bluish :D), since I don’t know swimming I’m warned for a drowning death in a Water world.
Most of the people are terrified by the very idea of ‘God’ ‘Angels’ ‘Demons’ etc. If you agree or not I think there exists an associated fear that travels from person to person along with these ‘religious’ terms. I swear, my intention here is not to give you some religious delight when I, myself is so illiterate on any religion and most importantly, majority of people find it so irrelevant and insignificant in recent times. As a walking primate, my stupidity has given me enough of opportunities to grow fond of every related ethereal entity and at this point of time, I find myself accountable to share my thoughts on these ‘ideas’.
We are all acquainted with them on moving frames. With Angelic faces and benevolent nature Angels are believed to be the servers of God whereas Demons are species of dismal outrage and core of all dreadful deeds. They look much obscure and interesting on a parallel universe far from reality. On a personal note, they are closer to my heart than my brain & I count myself among those who have a valid link connecting both. As a kid, I thought sky is the abode of Angels and it’s over those white clouds, they graze and I imagined them to be extraordinary singers (I don’t know what I would have thought of Angelic voice until I heard Enya) who would croon us to stillness on, sleep deprived nights. Well, I remember some of those nights surrendering to luxury of sleep like never before; after most unfortunate days.
Our knowledge of this physical world as well as the spiritual world is very much limited. Always remember the Absolute or Final Truth is beyond the reach of men which leave us with more opportunities to improve ourselves as Humans. We expect to see growth in every area of life but just think how ignorant are we at ourselves? We don’t want to conform to the laws of nature; our ignorance does not allow us to believe in stories of Angels (Good) and Demons (Evil). Well, they are all part of our lives. They are trees, flowers, birds; they are among those people we meet every day and sometimes those strangers whom we don’t even meet on a daily basis. But the question is ‘Do you really want to see what life is offering?”
When I look back now, I can see too many people. Most of them are friends; from school, from college, roommates in hostels, colleagues. My reminiscences say that, I had wonderful people around me when I was in need. We would not have freaked out or acted out to be best friends but every little deed and care of such people has added little more light into my life. For life is the greatest teacher, some of the lessons are to be learned in toughest ways and that is all about the bad times and wrong people. Demons or devils or whatever it is; they are in all of us. For me they are those lousy human beings who have no self-respect or moral values. Finally it’s up to us, what we make of it. If we let us drown looking at the misfortunes, we will never recognize the presence of Angels in our lives. Such times are the best stage set for self realization to know what it differs us from others. Don’t think that I am on a judging spree but I am watchful and that is what life has taught me in 25+ years. I still believe in Angels because I love to feel their presence in my life and Life - it is my favorite subject.
When I first listened to Imogen Heap I knew she is going to be one of those - my most favorite singers today; but however I could never imagine her singing Hindi lyrics some day. As a part of ’The Dewarists’, her latest track a collaboration with one of the Indian music director/ singer Vishal from Vishal-Shekhar duo is a big surprise for me. I find Imogen as an extremely talented musician who create original music with a whole lot of amazing instruments. These instruments produce sounds that are closer to the sounds in Nature, that’s what I’ve felt and she keeps on bringing fresh sound to my ears. Here is the new track Minds Without fear.
This Imogen/Vishal song “Minds Without Fear’ is inspired from one of Rabindra Nath Tagore Poems. Tagore, for me is a great saint and writer whose Gitanjali is my favorite book. It is among those books closer to my heart where each word is a reflection of a man’s wisdom. Gitanjali was given to me as a consolation prize in my school for winning third place in a singing competition when I was in 6th std. And it is first of its kind for me (for singing) therefore the most precious prize ever. That was the first time I participated in any singing competition and winning was like heaven because I remember competing with my seniors.
My school Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya is a boarding school where you get admission only from 6th standard and have to spend 7 years till completing 12th std strictly inside the campus. That truly have been a life changing experience for me which makes me the person that I am today. Away from family, away from everything I had seen and known we lived in a world of our own like a Big Family.
About Minds Without Fear, I don’t know if any of my friends remember that Malayalam Prayer we had in our School. Our Music sir Asokan Sir taught this one when I was in 10th or 11th. What I remember is, he only tuned this Prayer with Tagore’s poem and I must say that is one of the most beautiful prayers we had in School. I’m not sure how many of my school friends remember this one because he directly taught us – music club of our School. So I had this privilege of learning it directly from him and I don’t think they had included it in our Syllabus. Anyway it is still one my favorite prayers. Now when I listen to Imogen/Vishal song, memories of that beautiful prayer is back and I feel happy about it.
So here is that poem in English.
Where The Mind is Without Fear!
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake
Whenever you feel like lying,like cheating,like killing yourself or others, grab a handful of light from my pocket go to utter darkness watch the devil in you and then keep the light on your table see how darkness evades and realize what I am offering you; these Moments, they are too precious than your glittery metals and stones. Love me for the beautiful life I have offered you, thank me in the Name Of God!
Time at the ticking of our clock between light and dark we run far and high with all of our material possessions. A body like one of those luxurious vehicles polished & packed with latest technologies; mind like a kite at the fingertips of a little boy high in the sky, we hardly have moments with a life of our own. They say change is the only constant part of our life then why don’t we change to something better for the world we know or else don’t. Why do we always have to get back to that same old real life stories of some freaking wanna be bastards and selfish sluts; and they say “this is life you better suit yourself here”.
I wonder how people can draw a fine line between sanity and insanity here when they barely know what is good and bad. Well open your eyes you have raised enough of a hell for your kids, for all of your coming generations and now you are wondering where does this all start? Is it when you dug deep right through the holes of our education system to replace morality with your professionalism, your character with money, your life with a life style and your wisdom with a high profile in the society? What are we become like?
I do realize that I am part of a generation where the majority thinks that porn, drugs, money and sex can enlighten their spirits; that makes you a winner here, you play dirty they are here to praise you. None of these stories goes unheard here, all it takes is someone brave enough to watch you, and then it will reach them, your children, your grand children and if you are hoping them to be deaf and blind just like you, you must know there are people different from you. You can’t change the rules; you better play your little part and warn them for a worst hell than what you have prepared for them. I thought I can bleed to death in silence but when I see you in your workshop like a devil unleashed and I know your kind is here to multiply then I can’t just die...
Fell in love with these clouds all over again; what if its grey or white,
They carry the same stories of laughter and tears
But its dignity this time in shapes and textures,
And brand new Gospels from angels who are fallen!
They then pour it down with such a deafening roar;
It sounds almost like breaking a dawn in hell,
Drenching me with all of the sins and illusions
They embrace me for I am taken!
Where should I exile with whole of my body covered-
In thick red blood; it’s clogged and dirty now
And I presume, they were a bunch of Murderers
Loved and raised to be merciless; but I am asked to be quiet-
While wearing these bruises; as a mark of their wisdom.
Clouds, these loyal watchers they glide gently, always vigilant-
Sometimes dropping a shadow over you, over me,
And then tearing her bosom light comes screeching-
Seeking the ones to be found; the messengers of Gospels.
For you are here to preach a cavalry of infidels;
Its thousands of similar stories, of rage, of deception, of lust,
Of fear, of greed, of everything but human –
What you can’t breathe, can’t swallow, and can’t be understood at times.
I have seen beautiful photographs of these locks earlier but did not know of the place and this bridge. These locks are unbelievably beautiful and definitely worth a few clicks!
