Playmate

She says, she crosses mountains and valleys to reach there; 
All she ever wants is to play.
I ask her, if she could listen to some stories
This little girl says No and starts sobbing;
I don't compel, I'm supposed to be a listener, then I console...
She told me, she's tired of stories and;
I could be her favorite Playmate; we smile. 
I no longer ask her no questions; Neither do I read eyes,
I panic, What if I find pain? no love and no trust? 
But as she smiles even the clouds descend; 
Just to watch this sanguine child. 
She must be an Angel, now I reckon.

Rants of a Misfit

I don't even know if I had wished for anything better than this in my life or if, Life itself had turned out to be anything different than this, I don't know how better I could have enjoyed it... A person who is crazy to the utmost to even plan a successful life, as they all(others) wish, could find happiness in the darkest places. That is how people like me survive, if you are not aware of it. So I would want you normal human beings to just shun their ways and ignore them because there lies your eternal happiness in ignorance of the MISFITS, now don't even dare to imagine that these rants go anywhere desirable for you to finally understand what this is all about, because I always end up having the worst plans for those who imagine so.

Those people who are absolutely clumsy at deciding priorities in Life, sadly can't be the ones to invest your expectations on. They are spontaneous by nature and it is so apparent that they tend to slip away from rational laws yet don’t pamper any criminal instincts because it is a fact that such instincts don’t favor any reliable solutions.

The problem is why to take a road when you can simply assume the cheap thrills waiting on your way, I find no fun in knowing the obvious, the one truth I refuse to fight anytime. Liberation could be that guardian angel you kiss good night to, every single day, if you dare to be a less rational and more of a routine sucker, my two cents (you are free to ignore). The worst part of being a jerk is that people can't really piss you off, contrary to their common belief that they can, and the best part is this world could be as vast as blue sky and as small as a coffin, in between you could be a schizophrenic or as mundane as everyone else, interestingly you know it.

Falling For A Mighty Heart

 When that someone asks you to get lost I would say don’t hesitate; sometimes it is necessary to take it a bit too seriously and then find out a place that will make you feel lot more a stranger than you usually are. I am genuinely blabbering I know, because it’s tough this time; I think I want to talk about being in love. It sounds stupid, but it was just perfect exactly the way I have imagined. That compelling urge to fall wholeheartedly I felt, was fierce. I don’t even know what this ‘love at first sight’ crap is all about, Just as the way I can’t hate a person in first sight it is one of those myths for me. But for us silly humans, we can’t really predict what life has in store for us.

As long as I can remember I had a thing for forests and it goes back to school days. My brain must have had developed a great deal of fantasies about being in luscious Rain Forests back in there. I still recall how my heart used to pound thinking about Amazon which would eventually find a refuge at my nearest possible destination which is Silent Valley. It’s not my Science or geography teacher who did that voodoo on me it’s the lush green, the mighty trees and the exotic fauna there. I‘ve personally felt that all such pure cravings of a Human soul are more sacred than any man made shrines or relationships.

That was not a planned tour; we had a different purpose in Attappady – to visit SARANG. We had to travel from Trichur to Palakkad and from there to Mannarkkad all in public transportation. From Mannarkkad we took a bus to Aanakkatti that’s how we reached Agali. I had no clue that I would be staying any closer to Silent Valley and AHADS - where we had our stay arranged surely has a beautiful campus. But everything seemed frivolous to what I felt in those woods. It was intense, deep and I kept on falling for every candid hue of Green. Every hill there seemed to have a mighty heart for me; rocks stood like the most powerful Guardians had me euphoric. I haven’t seen such huge rocks before, standing tall for meters and meters amidst a Rain forest; these Western Ghats is a symbol of Nature’s strength.

It was just two of us and we had none around to guide us, so… basically it was us and a lot of strangers. We only saw a small part of Silent Valley but  something happened when I saw those mighty trees, they were tall and even their roots are longer because I could see them at every curve we passed. Although we don’t hear, I know these trees can talk; if they think that you love them they talk a bit louder, and the wind carry their conversations afar. I even started to think of my death while climbing the pass (funny but its true); I thought if I die there, I would want my parents to know that I had the most beautiful death I can dream of in this lifetime. But… I think it’s not my time yet. 

Every path we take would lead us to some fresh water streams or river and that’s it, we can't ignore the water, breeze, rocks and also there are huge Wind mills; I have not seen such a thing ever before. In such a climate my physical conditions normally won’t allow me to take things for granted. I have a chronic sinusitis that instantly kills all of my strongest desires to romance with a chill weather, but surprisingly I was perfectly alright. First time ever in my life I experienced ‘greed’, greed to fill my lungs and every pore in my body with fresh air.

Away from noise, pollution and my home I found a home to fall in love, to feel whole alive. It’s impossible for me to make you feel what I have felt there, it’s even harder to explain in words and I am sure these feelings are indigenous to Humans but we are taught to limit ourselves. This Society has already framed everything for us; love is that what you feel for money and those silly pleasures but then what about greater sense of Love, Love this society made you believe does not exist. When man eye for economic development there starts exploitation, that’s what it happened there too. Many of the rivers disappeared and AHADS team had been trying to reinforce the ecosystem and I think they are pretty much successful in doing so. When I got back I had myself in a closed room in tears for no reason, I already started missing everything about that place and this I know - I want to go back and be there for some time because True Love is something Pure, Irresistible and Deep like a Rain Forest!  

(My Bad I didn’t carry a camera, I only had my mobile cam and much thanks to Rahman sir, Amit Trivedi and Avial band for such beautiful songs.Usually when I travel my playlist simply  have all Alternate Rock stuff but this time I had gone all Desi. Amit Trivedi’s  Pareshaan, Rahman sir’s Rockstar especially Tum Ho and 22FK songs from Avial and Rex topped my list )

Water

This pic was taken at Thusharagiri Waterfalls, Calicut.

Water – it has always been something beyond a plain liquid to quench my thirst, in fact it is one of those GREAT feelings to me. I would love to indulge in water as much as I long for the sight of roses in garden. It is much of an intriguing but a true feeling. It has not been very long since I realized my insatiable love for this element. Perhaps there is an unrequited way of loving the very causes of our life. I don’t go by the might of it or any physical characteristics when it comes to my affinity towards water because I would have preferred the mountains (earth) in any such case.

Food delivers such a gratifying feeling for many I know, but that does not work right for me, for some reason unknown. I don’t know if it has something to do with my body temperature because it seems to be pretty high most of the time, well I don’t believe it is the only reason. Of course water is not a dubious idea at all for me to frown at, unlike air I can see it. In fact it is conspicuous by all means; in that case it is certainly not my curiosity at play.

Seeds of this love might have sown during my School/hostel days. We had to literally walk for kilometers to fetch some water when we were merely 12 or 13, but that has definitely taught us the value of it. Tell you the truth, those days a bucket full of water for a day was considered a big fortune. Over the years these memories have bestowed much an intensified feeling for Water that now, the very first touch of it can take me away from this abyss called life.

Thusharagiri Water falls

Rivers, lakes, waterfalls, and oceans the bliss is endless, even the monsoon clouds speak a language of water. If you listen carefully you will hear stories of life that were passed on to them through roots to the trees destined at the Sky. Have you ever noticed the joy of a swan dancing on water? I have always admired that pure bliss. So whenever I dance I want to feel like walking on water, gracefully surrendering to a Water God. Also, I think my Soulmate (if exists) would be someone more like water you know Deep (and bluish :D), since I don’t know swimming I’m warned for a drowning death in a Water world.

Angels And Demons

Most of the people are terrified by the very idea of ‘God’ ‘Angels’ ‘Demons’ etc. If you agree or not I think there exists an associated fear that travels from person to person along with these ‘religious’ terms. I swear, my intention here is not to give you some religious delight when I, myself is so illiterate on any religion and most importantly, majority of people find it so irrelevant and insignificant in recent times. As a walking primate, my stupidity has given me enough of opportunities to grow fond of every related ethereal entity and at this point of time, I find myself accountable to share my thoughts on these ‘ideas’.

We are all acquainted with them on moving frames. With Angelic faces and benevolent nature Angels are believed to be the servers of God whereas Demons are species of dismal outrage and core of all dreadful deeds. They look much obscure and interesting on a parallel universe far from reality. On a personal note, they are closer to my heart than my brain & I count myself among those who have a valid link connecting both. As a kid, I thought sky is the abode of Angels and it’s over those white clouds, they graze and I imagined them to be extraordinary singers (I don’t know what I would have thought of Angelic voice until I heard Enya) who would croon us to stillness on, sleep deprived nights. Well, I remember some of those nights surrendering to luxury of sleep like never before; after most unfortunate days.

Our knowledge of this physical world as well as the spiritual world is very much limited. Always remember the Absolute or Final Truth is beyond the reach of men which leave us with more opportunities to improve ourselves as Humans. We expect to see growth in every area of life but just think how ignorant are we at ourselves? We don’t want to conform to the laws of nature; our ignorance does not allow us to believe in stories of Angels (Good) and Demons (Evil). Well, they are all part of our lives. They are trees, flowers, birds; they are among those people we meet every day and sometimes those strangers whom we don’t even meet on a daily basis. But the question is ‘Do you really want to see what life is offering?”

When I look back now, I can see too many people. Most of them are friends; from school, from college, roommates in hostels, colleagues. My reminiscences say that, I had wonderful people around me when I was in need. We would not have freaked out or acted out to be best friends but every little deed and care of such people has added little more light into my life. For life is the greatest teacher, some of the lessons are to be learned in toughest ways and that is all about the bad times and wrong people. Demons or devils or whatever it is; they are in all of us. For me they are those lousy human beings who have no self-respect or moral values. Finally it’s up to us, what we make of it. If we let us drown looking at the misfortunes, we will never recognize the presence of Angels in our lives. Such times are the best stage set for self realization to know what it differs us from others. Don’t think that I am on a judging spree but I am watchful and that is what life has taught me in 25+ years. I still believe in Angels because I love to feel their presence in my life and Life - it is my favorite subject.

Have a Great Day People! J