I look at all my years as rivers. And I choose them over Oceans, it's almost a mystery. Whenever I'm at this meeting point of two years it matters to me 'where I am'! This is probably because I have been in lots of places, not as a traveler though, those were simply my circumstances. But this time I had planned everything just to be on one of those peaks. High altitude serves right to my senses and that's been my excuse. Even though there is much to add to it like 'ghosts of dead trees, souls of bereaving forests' I digress here. Here, I want to share that time, I lay in a tent all alone for a while in a fetal position.
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Fellow Trekkers at Munnar Hill Station |
For a good number of minutes I was aware that my physical body is in a sublime state but sending intermittent signals at the same time, and why? At this place where we all had gathered to spend the night, it had mighty peaks guarding their only home. The chilly wind there like frolicking children made sure that we felt its presence even if we were hiding under a rock. And that is by sending shivers right through the flesh and into our bones. I almost forgot what my toes felt like being attached to my poor legs that night!
I was away from all the noise, I could hear my own heartbeats. It was only minutes ago that I was with rest of the group making my little contribution to the overall loudness around that place. The Moon was almost round and kept sneaking upon us from time to time. You know how the Moon can be on nights like these, very suspicious!
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Almost Full moon |
The people I met there, they had traveled quite long distances to be together at that surreal point. These were all such wild spirited companions on a trek! For as long as we played 'Antakshari' they never really ran out of beautiful melodies and convincingly bossed at presenting them as well. And I couldn't have imagined it to be so damn cold out there or rather, the presence of such chilly wind. I think my little brain always deters me from surmising such terrific details. It works for me somehow. And then I could do this irrespective of occasions, I can always stare right back at me as an outsider and wonder 'how did I end up being here, of all the places?' It is a beautiful pain I have labored through all my years.
I got back into my Tent around 10 pm because I'm insufferable when body starts warring against my willpower to fit in anywhere. I don't fit in, it's as simple as that. So I lay there all alone without a single soul around and I was getting this stingy feeling that cold is creeping up right until the tip of my head from my toes. For me, extreme cold becomes a person in situations like these, and i imagine it to have long crooked limbs and breathes ice into the atmosphere, although I'm pretty sure it is faceless.
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Campfire ~ Tent N Trek |
Up at these peaks where Skies seem impending (too many Sci-Fi movies)
i began counting time by seconds because we have entered into a new year. I was then brooding while slowly turning numb by parts without a soul in sight. For distractions, I started searching for all things i could recognize in that blackness, sleeping bags and that was about it! I even imagined about possibilities of some reptiles making its way into our tent, but nothing really happened other than my increased awareness of my life breathing back into me.
Something came over me that night, although I could have easily grown frustrated, I was not! I could feel the whole place in an elevated spirit and that was solely because of the cheery crowd present there. That night I couldn't have been able to drag my lazy ass out of that tent ( I couldn't feel it more precisely) but I devoured the terrific combination of eerie quiet closer to me and the bustle a bit far in the open. I got to thinking if I was reachable to some ghostly souls that night. Maybe someone could crossover to find me in that serene place, all bitten by cold, vulnerable by the darkness, haunted by the very thoughts i shouldn't have at that time - 'So is this what death feels like? Cold, dark, isolated, awake, but a bit far away from other people?' but it was something purely beautiful!! Peaceful.
